It's not often for me that jealousy rears its ugly head, but sometimes it does. I am human, after all. And jealousy is a perfectly normal human emotion. But that doesn't mean you can't work through it.
Jealousy in this particular instance arises from fear, I think. Fear of sharing time and fear of sharing my Mistress's love with someone we both have history and feelings for. I know that shouldn't scare me, but should draw me closer. But sometimes the lizard brain outweighs the logical mind and you panic.
I worry that if I'm not the squeaky wheel (no pun intended) that I won't get the time and attention I have been getting, or that I'll be relegated to the background like an unused toy after Christmas. It's an illogical feeling, an illogical thought because I know it won't happen.
But it's happened before, which is why I sit here with tears in my eyes as I write this. I want nothing more than to make my Love happy. And secondary, I want nothing more than to make those I love happy. And I love all involved, including and especially my Love. So why is this tough for me? I don't know.
My sweet sweet girl, you are not being replaced (nor could you EVER be replaced). I will love you and fight for you until the day I cease to exist. We both know that he is broken and needs to be fixed, if for no one's sake but his own, and that together we would be best for him. But you are not being replaced, nor will you ever have less of my time or heart.
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