Monday, February 18, 2013

Feeling Like A Disappointment

I've realized in a long-distance relationship, even moreso than in a face-to-face one, that feeling like you've disappointed your Love is a bigger blow. I feel like no matter what I do it's not good enough, but what brought it to the surface last night was the conclusion to the story. I was accused of rushing, and perhaps that's a little true - I was tired and excited all at the same time.

But I also had a problem describing how I would like for my Love to please me, as opposed to vice versa. It just was blocked in my head, because I would like for her to take her pleasure where and how she sees fit.

Aside from that, I've just been feeling like I'm failing at being able to cheer her up. I want to make her life better in every single way that I can, and I feel like that's not something I'm able to do from this far away.

It's days like today I not only want to cry, but also want to run away and kidnap her and be with her and shelter her from all the bad things in life forever.

It also sucks that it's President's Day and the mail doesn't run, because her surprise would have reached her today.

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